Tonight I’ve been chatting online with my good friends, Ashlee and we’ve been trying to determine what is and isn’t too subtle. It raised the point that apparently women and men have different ideas about the subtlety threshold. Why, you may be asking yourself, would two fairly sane women be having such a conversation at 1:00a? The answer is simple really: I’ve been too subtle with the things I’ve been saying. Well, at least with the things I’ve been saying to one person in particular. Who happens to be male. Is it starting to become a bit clearer now?
For some time now (perhaps months) I’ve been dropping little clues to this friend, and just when I think he’s got it – nope, I was wrong. In reviewing a recent message I sent him it became clear to me that what I thought was a not-so-subtle hint in my eyes was probably draped completely in camouflage to him.
Can someone please enlighten me as to what this “fine line” regarding subtle and not-so-subtle is? I believe for women it is a fine line and at any time we risk going over it, but on the flip side for men that fine line is more like the Grand Canyon. So how is a woman to determine was is too much when being subtle with a man? Is there some point where we go, “Whoa! That’s not subtle any longer!” and stop? And again, just because we as women feel it isn’t subtle, does that mean a man would feel the same way? It’s like the age old question of which came first the chicken or the egg.
I think tomorrow night I’ll ponder the meaning of life…
2 comments:
Oh gods, the age old question.
First, I kind of hate to stereotype men as 'not subtle', but it seems they are raised and conditioned to often miss subtle cues. Or maybe ignore them, I am not sure.
Women, if they tread to far over this line, are 'asking for it' or are loose by nature which is unfair.
Most men do not have enough brain cells to be that deep. Unless they directly want for something short of showing up in a negligée they will not know something until you point blank say it and often then they still look slack jawed until it possibly sinks in. Sad but true women are the romantic ones as it so because they are built to see such things as romance and love easily. Men are romantics when they think it will get them what they want and usually that is only worth attaining when it is a fairly illusive female to them at which point it becomes a challenge sort of like willing your team to win the Sunday football game just by drinking enough beer and thinking about that ball getting touchdown after touchdown. Men only see what they want to see and see it in black and white ost of the time while we the hopeless lovers that we are dream in full color.
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