Things I Have Learned

On the one year anniversary (aka surgiversary) of my gastric bypass surgery I decided to make a list of things I’ve learned over the past year: 

·         First and foremost I’ve learned that I am a much stronger person than I’ve ever imagined.  Having your insides rearranged isn’t simple or easy, nor is the lifestyle that must be maintained afterward. 

·         I’ve also learned that I tolerate sugar very well (not good to know) and that too much fat and I are not friends (definitely good to know). 

·         I’ve learned which protein drinks/powders/bars I like and dislike, and that at any given time that could change.  You just gotta love the ever changing taste buds.  LOL

·         I’ve accepted the hair loss I experienced and am rejoicing in the new hair growth.

·         “Head hunger” is evil and will do its best to make you overeat and eat the wrong things.  At one year out I rarely feel true bodily hunger, and because of this I have to remind myself to eat.

·         Dehydration happens very easily.  If I don’t drink at least 64 ounces each day I immediately feel dryness in my skin and increased thirst.

·         Exercise is my friend: whether it’s at the gym, home or somewhere else.

·         It is fun to be able to fit into spaces I couldn’t just a matter of months earlier.

·         I have more energy.

·         During the melting stage Goodwill is my friend: they accept the clothes I can no longer wear and sell gently worn clothing for a very reasonable price.

·         I’m an inspiration to others.

I’m sure there are many other things I’ve learned but these are the ones that come to the forefront of my mind.  Of course I also know that without the love and support of my family and friends I would have a much harder time with my journey.  I am very thankful to have so many who have been here for me over the past year, and who will continue to be by my side.

New Year, New Blog

Many years ago I stopped making New Year’s resolutions when I realized I was not able to keep them.  I couldn’t see the point in making a promise that I knew would be broken at some point during the year – and in some cases within the first 24-hours.  Of course each year I’d have little things I’d want to accomplish, or think that I could accomplish without making a formal resolution.  2011 is not the year I plan to change my “no resolutions” way of thinking, however I do expect it to be a year of change.

I am only 22 days away from the one year anniversary of my laparoscopic RNY gastric bypass surgery, or surgiversary as WLS patients call it.  I am very pleased with my results to date, and even though I will not be at my personal goal by January 26 I am much closer than I was a year ago at this time.  The changes in my body are amazing to me.  I’m wearing clothing sizes that I haven’t worn since high school or possibly even middle school – that is 20+ years ago!  It’s just an amazing feeling to see the metamorphosis of my body and to know that I’m still not entirely ready to leave my cocoon.  I am so very thankful to have been given the tool to make this happen; to create a healthier me for the future.

There are still demons I battle and in September they came to a head.  I had a sort of breakdown at the end of the month and ended up spending five days in a psychiatric ward.  It was a turning point for me and has helped me realize that my depression stems back further than I originally thought.  I attend a group therapy session weekly and have one-on-one counseling as often as possible.  None of this would be possible without the help of the Rappahannock-Rapidan Community Services Board.  They have approved me for low-cost assistance for my treatment and medications.  It is truly a blessing.  I’m feeling mentally and physically better than I have in a very long time.

During these past months I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will lose my house, whether I manage to sell it on my own or allow it to be foreclosed.  At first this was one of the things that sent me over the edge, but now I’m at peace with it.  The only saving grace would be for the condo in Florida to sell but I’m not counting my eggs before they hatch, and I may possibly need to live there for a bit.  So now I live each day to the fullest and allow myself to be open to the possibilities.

Another way I’m blessed is the part-time job I have at CVS.  On the books I’m a head cashier but when I was hired it was to be trained as a manager.  I have no estimate as to when I’ll make the manager designation but it would be nice if it were sooner than later.  I enjoy the work and those I work with.  I never thought I could enjoy retail but I really do.  It’s completely different from the cashier and retail jobs I had in high school and college.  I’m definitely interested to see where this will lead.

Last year I’d said I would blog on a regular basis and obviously that did not happen.  This year I will not make that same mistake.  I will blog when the feeling strikes, and hopefully it will be more often than once every six months.  LOL

May everyone have a happy and prosperous 2011!