Monday, November 14, 2011

Starting Over... Again.

This past weekend marked the beginning of a new chapter. Saturday and Sunday everything I own was packed onto a U-Haul truck and moved into a storage facility. I am so thankful for my neighbors because without them it never would have been completed, and today would have arrived and I would have lost everything.

I suppose I should back up a bit for those unfamiliar with what has been going on in my life the past several months. In mid-September my house was foreclosed and bought by the mortgage company at auction. I knew they would have to go through the formal eviction procedure as I was still living in the house at the time. In late October I received the summons to go to court for unlawful detainee charges, and on November 4 the judge gave me 10 days to vacate the premises. That brings me to today, day 10.

While all this was transpiring I was actively searching for a new place to live. Not an easy task when you require a certain number of rooms to accommodate everything and everyone. See, my mom is moving up from Florida to move in with me so there needs to be room for both of us as well as space for her home office. I thought I'd found a place right off the bat, but we were rejected before ever putting in an application due to my foreclosure and credit. I actually believe that has been our biggest hurdle for all the places we've applied. I have an application I am supposed to hear back about today, and I am praying it is positive. Living in limbo isn't fun.

Last night Fluffy, Mina and I moved in to my friend Gena's house. I have the sofa and the cats, well they can fight for whatever space they can find. See, I am the fifth adult to move into the house and there are 3 small children and multiple other animals as well. So it's a bit cramped, but I am so very thankful to Gena for giving me a roof over my head. Otherwise, I'd be literally homeless right now.

I don't think the full reality hit me until yesterday when I was pulling out of the driveway for the last time. That was the first time I'd cried in weeks. I cried several times last night, and I feel as if I could cry right now. I'm also incredibly exhausted as I slept very little last night – if I got 2 hours sleep it's a lot. This isn't helping the migraine I've had growing since sometime during the night either. It's a surreal feeling not having a home of your own and knowing all your belongings are somewhere else. I'm thankful to still have the kitties because they are a comfort to me right now, even though they aren't very happy with me for uprooting their little lives. They will adjust, and so will I.

I don't know how I would have survived these past months without the love and support of my mom and the angels in my life. I know I don't say thank you often enough, but I do always appreciate everything that is done for me. I'm also thankful for my job which is a constant way of staying rooted.  I have the best boss in the world and am lucky he's been so understanding these past months.  Now I just need to find a place to live and get everything moved so Mom can move up and we can begin a chapter of life together.

If you are reading this, I don't ask for much – just a kind thought or prayer. I know things will work out for the best, I just don't know when. Thank you, my friends, for your support. It means the world to me.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I haven’t written anything lately because I’ve been in a bit of a funk. A lot has been going on and I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share. Then I realized that most of my followers already know about my financial problems, and those who stumble across this and don’t know will learn something new. Before I delve into the latest financial crisis, let me bring you up to date on the good in my life.


My job is going well. I spent most of last week in the office working with my boss and co-worker. I jumped right in with both feet on my first morning, handling a rather touchy situation for a customer. The boss was pleased. Just as I was starting to feel settled in the office and into a routine I got to come back to the training center for a week. Other than the educational stuff we’re doing first thing in the morning I don’t see a huge need for me to be here, but I just follow the rules and do as I’m told (which in this case was coming into training for the final week). It’s nice to see all my fellow “students” again. We have a nice camaraderie.


Some other good news is that my weight loss seems to be renewing after a very long stall. I attribute it to the new job and being on more of a steady schedule. I’m even able to fit into some size 14 pants that I’ve had for months and months. It was quite a happy time when I tried them on and realized they now fit! Perhaps I will make it to goal by the end of the year.


Now for the not so great news… A week ago this past Saturday my Jeep was repossessed. I was three months behind on my payments and they came at 5:00a to tow her away. I hadn’t expected this to happen so soon, and what made me feel worse was that I had a check written out for one month’s payment just waiting to be mailed. Thanks to some help from my mom (as I still have no internet access at home) I was able to obtain a rental car for a good rate and that’s what I’ve been driving for just over a week now. I am working to get the money together to get my Jeep back, and the bank is aware of that so they are not going to auction it at this time. It’s still nerve-racking though not knowing where my vehicle is or when I’ll have her back. The past week has been an emotional roller-coaster and I feel as if my job is one of the only things holding me together. When I’m at home all I want to do is sleep so I can escape the reality of what is going on, and I know that isn’t healthy. So I ask that you please keep me in your thoughts (and prayers if you are so inclined) that all this works itself out in a timely fashion.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Commuting is fun, right?

I'd like to see a show of hands of everyone who commutes to work.  Hmm... I don't see too many hands raised.  ;)  Anyway, my new job (and the training) require a daily commute.  Goody.  To training my one-way trip is about 66 miles, and I'll be in training for a total of 3 weeks.  Thankfully the commute to my office is a bit less - somewhere around 40 miles one-way.  Last night I did some math and in the previous 24 hour period I had driven 150.5 miles.  Most of that was my commute, the rest was the drive home from the gas station Tuesday night.  That's a fair share of driving for one day.  No wonder I'm tired when I get home.  LOL

Commuting aside training is going well.  Today we're actually working on learning to do a quote in the system.  I'd like a little more background on how to look up customer information in the system for servicing purposes but I don't know that we're going to get a whole lot of that until the final week when we're doing service calls.  Good thing I'm a quick learner.

Yesterday I found out that my P&C license is still valid until September 1.  So yes, girls and boys, that means I rushed to get the licensing exam done for no reason.  I could have screamed.  I guess on the positive side this means it's out of the way.  I also found out I need to get non-resident licenses for DC and MD since my boss carries both and can (and does to an extent) write business there.  So I have to find out how to go about doing that.  Pardon me while I jump.  (Just kidding.)

Other than the weather I don't have anything else to comment on at this time, so I'll put you out of your misery and stop here.  ;)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Yesterday and Today

Sunday, July 17

Yesterday was the big day, and I was a bundle of nerves. I left the house early and went to the library for a bit just to try and take my mind off things. I arrived at the testing center right on time and got checked-in. Things have changed since I took the Health, Life and Annuities exam last year. Now if you fail one part you only have to retake that part and not both. I'm not sure if finding out that fact eased my nerves or made them worse. I settled into my little cubby and began the first part of the test. At first the questions seemed really simple but then I started to feel nervous as it seemed like there were questions about things I'd never seen before. Then I got to the second section (laws) which told me was 40 questions and 40 minutes to complete! My brain nearly went into a meltdown with fear of running out of time. Finally I finished and went out to the front to get my things and my result. I didn't have to wait to read the paper because the proctor said, “congratulations!” to me. What a weight off my shoulders.

Today I've been getting organized to start the new job tomorrow. I began with organizing my closet so all the work appropriate clothes are together, then I moved onto the kitchen to make sure things are all ready for me to grab a pro shake in the morning and my lunch. I've even managed a load of laundry. Now I'm just relaxing a bit and enjoying the afternoon.

9:01p

It has definitely been nice to just relax. Amidst my relaxing I managed to remember to fill the hummingbird feeders. The hummies are happy now. Happy hummies make a happy Mina because she gets to sit and watch them.

I've mixed my morning pro shake, and put together my lunch for tomorrow. Now I'm just waiting a bit longer before going to bed. Just because I have to get up super early doesn't mean I need to go to bed at 9:00, although I will most likely be in bed by 10:00 at this rate just so I can get a good night's sleep. So for now I'm going to finish the moving I'm watching and then contemplate bed. I must be at my best for my first day tomorrow.

Monday, July 18
7:50a

Today is the first day of my new job. Big surprise, I'm early. Bigger surprise: I'm more han one hour early. I guess I over-estimated how bad traffic would be. It only took me a little over an hour to get here, which is what it took me the day of my interview. So tomorrow I'll leave a little later.

The office is near a commuter station so I get to watch all the people bustling about on their way to work. There is something so wrong about a man in a suit wearing a backpack and sneakers. Then there is the lady standing outside her car, reading. You'd think it would be more comfortable to sit in the car to read. I'm sure she has her own logic to things though.

The office “park” is interesting. It's not exactly a strip mall but it also isn't just one building. It's a group of buildings – some one-story and others three-story. The three-story ones have apartments/condos on the top floors. I can only imagine what they go for. There's even a small playground area for those with kids. It seems a rather quiet area – if you don't mind a train whistle intermittently through the day. It is, however, a shame there isn't a Starbucks here. They'd probably do good business from all the commuters. Plus I could go in there to sit instead of sitting in the car. LOL (Heck, an iced mocha sounds good too.) so far it's a beautiful day, but it's too early to tell how hot it will be. It's pleasant right now with just the hint of a breeze. It is almost a pity I'll be spending the day inside. Almost. All I have to do is remember why I'll be inside and it makes it all worthwhile.

12:35p

Ok so today has been interesting so far. I am not the only new hire in Jason's office. We spent a couple hours going over things while Jason waited to hear about the training class. Turns out training started today, no Wednesday as he thought. So Christ (pronounced Chris) and I piled into our vehicles and headed to Fairfax for training. We got here during lunch break so I figured I would take a few moments to jot down some thoughts.

Surprisingly I haven't had the crash and burn feeling hit me yet. I'm sure by the end of the day it will. The training room is comfy although a bit warm. I can't imagine how it will feel full of bodies. The one trainer I’ve spoken with so far is very nice. I'm trying to make a list of the things I still need to take are of now that I’ve passed the exam. First and foremost is the background check. That means printing off the form and mailing it off with a money order. I don't think there was anything else that has to be done to it. Except maybe having it notarized. Maybe there is a notary here since I don't know how else i'll find the time to get it done. It will work out somehow. I also want to talk with Jason about whether or not I need to get my MD and DC licenses since he is able to write in both. Another bridge to cross, but I’m not going to let it bother me.

It just dawned on me that this is the first (non-holiday) Monday in months that I haven't spent doing truck. Do I miss it? No! Im not even upset about having to get up earlier for he commute. It is all worth it. Although I do need to find out what time training starts in the morning. We get out at 4:30 so I'm guessing it begins at 8:00. from what I understand I'll be in here for two weeks, then back in the office for a week, and then back in here for a week. A little different from how things were in the past. As long as it provides me with enough background, I'm good.

6:38p

I'm at the library after an uneventful drive. Traffic wasn't too bad, which was surprising. The best part is that I don't have to be in tomorrow until 9:30! I might actually get to sleep in just a tad. All in all I would say day 1 of training was a success. I just wish I hadn't missed the first three hours. I'm going to catch up a bit on my email and such and then head home to have some dinner (well, after putting gas in the Jeep). I hope everyone has a great evening!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

July 15, 2011

8:12p

It’s been a long day and it’s still not over. My day started at 6:00a when my alarm went off. All I wanted to do was snuggle back into the covers but that wasn’t possible. We had some busy moments at work but mostly it was steady (at least after about 10:00a). I showed Vicki a bit more about how to do photo, and she even managed to start her first roll of film (for developing) fairly quick. I think she’ll catch on as long as whomever teaches her has some patience.

Kim must have realized how tired and stressed I was because she asked me at 3:00 if I would like to go home early. She didn’t have to ask twice. LOL I actually ended up leaving about quarter after since I was finishing up a roll of film. From work I headed home to change and grab the computer, and then I headed into Culpeper to the library before they closed. From the library it was off to one of my least favorite places, Walmart. Sadly they are a necessary evil at times. I bought a pre-paid cell phone to use while my service is off. I will be quite limited in how much I use it, but it’s basically just to keep everyone in the loop and so I can be reached in an emergency.

I had some dinner a little while ago and now I’m getting ready to take another practice exam. I’m only doing one tonight because I don’t think my brain can handle more than that. I’m being positive that I CAN and I WILL pass the exam tomorrow. Now it’s time to do that practice exam.

9:20p

The key to passing the exam is to stay positive and calm. Yes, girls and boys I passed the practice exam, and with a better percentage than last night. I just have to remember to take my time, read the questions and answers thoroughly and do my best not to stress. I’m more confident now than I was last night and that’s a good thing. I KNOW I will pass tomorrow. How’s that for positive mental attitude? 

Friday, July 15, 2011

July 14, 2011

12:37p

I hadn’t planned to take a break this early but my computer decided to restart (to finish updates) while I was in the midst of my practice exam.  Words cannot describe how annoyed I was that all the work I’d already done was lost thanks to this restart.  Actually I did say a few words, but they aren’t fit to share.

I got a late start this morning after a poor night’s sleep.  I don’t know why I couldn’t stay asleep last night, but it’s frustrating.  It doesn’t help matters any that I’m not feeling well today.  My ears hurt and the glands in my throat are swollen.  I hope it’s nothing serious – just severe allergies or a minor head cold.  Goodness knows I can’t afford to be sick right now.  I guess a regimen of gargling with warm salted water and drinking extra fluids is called for. 

At least my little break has been productive.  I loaded the dishwasher and have it running, and I ate lunch.  Now that I’m refueled I think it’s time to try that practice exam again…

2:53p

Break number two… and my first “non-pass” result on the practice exam.  I went back and looked over the questions I missed and could kick myself on some of them.  I know this stuff.  I lived it for a number of years, so there is no excuse for stupid mistakes.  Ok, so I haven’t had a lot of experience with business policies so those questions I’m a bit more forgiving of having missed them.  However the others just cause me to shake my head in disbelief.  I need a little break though before going for try number two.  Perhaps I’ll empty the dishwasher and have a little snack – something to give my brain a short break.

5:36p

Break number three… and hallelujah I passed the blasted practice exam on the second try.  Mind you I didn’t pass it by much so I will be doing it again, although maybe not tonight because my brain is feeling a bit jumbled right now.  I want to go to the library but I know I shouldn’t due to financial restrictions (going anywhere right now with the cost of gas is an “as necessary” basis).  So I will sit at home, going a bit stir crazy from the quiet.

I’ve been dreaming of true love’s kiss…

And tonight’s feature film was… Enchanted!  I haven’t watched this one in awhile and I had forgotten how much I love it.  Yes, it falls into the whole fairytale theme that’s been going on but it’s such a fun film as well, mixing animation with live action.  And hey, I didn’t sob my eyes out so it was a good night.  LOL  It does have me wondering something though (since it has such a mix of classic Disney films within it) if a ballroom scene is required for a Disney princess movie.  It just seems as if most of the princess films have a ballroom scene (my favorite being Beauty and the Beast).  Anyone else have a favorite Disney moment (ballroom or not)?

Now that the movie is over I’m trying to wind down a bit.  I need to call it an early night since I open in the morning, and I’ve had the opportunity to be lazy all week and sleep late.  Six o’clock is going to come real early of that you can be sure, but it is my official last day at CVS.  I have a feeling it will take a few weeks to adjust to the 9-5 schedule after an erratic part-time schedule, but I’m looking forward to it.  I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment and I plan to make the most of it.

Okay it is time to mix my pro shake for the morning, gather the kitties up and head off to bed.  *yawn*

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

July 12, 2011

Misery… loves company?

For the record I’m not miserable, just a little challenged communications-wise.  It is amazing what one can get done when there is no internet or mobile phone to distract.  For example I only have one chapter left in my Virginia Property & Casualty book to read – one out of twenty chapters.  Okay, so some of the chapters are short but you must keep in mind this isn’t exactly exciting reading material.  But it is a necessary read in order to pass the state licensing exam this Saturday.

Let me back up for a minute and bring my readers up to speed.  It’s currently July 12, 2011, 10:46p and goodness only knows when I’ll actually get to post this to my blog.  Hopefully tomorrow but I’m not holding my breath.  Why am I without my wireless service (which includes my internet and phone)?  Because, contrary to popular belief the wireless companies actually like to get paid when they send out a bill.  Obviously they don’t realize that I like receiving a decent paycheck for hours worked, but I digress.  Yes girls and boys, money is tight.  I could let this get me down, but what would be the point?  It’s far better to make the best of the situation (although it does feel odd to have the computer on and not be able to check my email or Facebook).  Plus I know things are beginning to turn around and that is something positive.

Some may be wondering why I’m taking the state exam for P&C…  Well, I’m going back into the insurance business and have to be licensed.  Again.  Yes, I could kick myself for letting my license expire, but who knew I’d be going back to work in this particular field?  Even more surprising is the fact that I’m going to be working in an Allstate office again.  I had a really great interview a couple weeks back and was offered the job pretty much on the spot – despite not having my license.  It was a plus that I do have a valid Health, Life and Annuities license though.  I agreed to get my P&C license so I can begin this wonderful full-time position as a customer service representative.

What’s that?  Some of you want to know what will become of my part-time position at CVS?  Officially I’m being kept on the payroll for the time being.  My manager would love it if I was willing to work a few hours on a Saturday here and there to help out, and honestly I’m not totally against the idea.  So we will see how things go with getting settled into the new job before making a final decision.

The worst part of the new job transition has got to be the paycheck.  This week is the last of weekly paychecks at CVS as they are going bi-weekly, and it will be at least two weeks before I get my first paycheck at Allstate.  So things are going to be tight the next couple weeks.  Much tighter than I’m happy with, but I will find a way to manage.  On a positive note I’m hoping being in a stable, full-time position will help me control my emotional eating problems.  Once under control I will finally be able to lose those last 40 or so pounds.  Goal, here I come!

My, it’s quiet in here…

For those who have done any type of serious studying in their lives you know that you cannot study constantly without any breaks.  Believe me when I say when studying insurance breaks are a requirement.  Depending on what type of insurance you are studying you find that it either bores you to tears or puts you to sleep (or perhaps a blend of the two).  The three day cram-fest I did for my Health, Life and Annuities was hell.  I found the subject almost completely foreign and insanely boring, but I obviously retained something as I passed the exam on the first try.  I’m only finding the Property and Casualty boring in the sense that it’s like a review for me, albeit a review of something I haven’t dealt with in years.  So what do I do to break-up the monotony of studying in a quiet house?  During the day I take little breaks to get something to eat, stretch (a walk out to the mailbox helps) and bug whichever cat happens to be in the house (usually Mina, stretched-out next to me).  In the evenings I’ve been going through the DVD collection and digging out movies I haven’t watched in awhile.

I must say I’ve learned something about my DVD collection, or perhaps I should say my taste in movies, amidst the fantasy/sci-fi and action flicks I have a whole bunch of “happily ever after” type movies.  It’s almost a bit depressing because I always cry when I watch them.  It has me asking myself if I’m crying because it’s a happy ending or if I’m crying because I want my happy ending.  Either way I’ve gone through a lot of tissues the past couple nights.  Perhaps I should just stick to the Bruce Willis films I have, at least they are mindless and don’t cause me to question my life.  LOL

Right now I’m winding down with a little Bruno Pelletier.  I can’t think of much better to wind up my day with, and wind it up I must do.  Tomorrow is another day of review and practice test taking.  Thanks for reading… and hopefully I didn’t bore you to tears.  ;)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Things I Have Learned

On the one year anniversary (aka surgiversary) of my gastric bypass surgery I decided to make a list of things I’ve learned over the past year: 

·         First and foremost I’ve learned that I am a much stronger person than I’ve ever imagined.  Having your insides rearranged isn’t simple or easy, nor is the lifestyle that must be maintained afterward. 
·         I’ve also learned that I tolerate sugar very well (not good to know) and that too much fat and I are not friends (definitely good to know). 
·         I’ve learned which protein drinks/powders/bars I like and dislike, and that at any given time that could change.  You just gotta love the ever changing taste buds.  LOL
·         I’ve accepted the hair loss I experienced and am rejoicing in the new hair growth.
·         “Head hunger” is evil and will do its best to make you overeat and eat the wrong things.  At one year out I rarely feel true bodily hunger, and because of this I have to remind myself to eat.
·         Dehydration happens very easily.  If I don’t drink at least 64 ounces each day I immediately feel dryness in my skin and increased thirst.
·         Exercise is my friend: whether it’s at the gym, home or somewhere else.
·         It is fun to be able to fit into spaces I couldn’t just a matter of months earlier.
·         I have more energy.
·         During the melting stage Goodwill is my friend: they accept the clothes I can no longer wear and sell gently worn clothing for a very reasonable price.
·         I’m an inspiration to others.

I’m sure there are many other things I’ve learned but these are the ones that come to the forefront of my mind.  Of course I also know that without the love and support of my family and friends I would have a much harder time with my journey.  I am very thankful to have so many who have been here for me over the past year, and who will continue to be by my side.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year, New Blog

Many years ago I stopped making New Year’s resolutions when I realized I was not able to keep them.  I couldn’t see the point in making a promise that I knew would be broken at some point during the year – and in some cases within the first 24-hours.  Of course each year I’d have little things I’d want to accomplish, or think that I could accomplish without making a formal resolution.  2011 is not the year I plan to change my “no resolutions” way of thinking, however I do expect it to be a year of change.

I am only 22 days away from the one year anniversary of my laparoscopic RNY gastric bypass surgery, or surgiversary as WLS patients call it.  I am very pleased with my results to date, and even though I will not be at my personal goal by January 26 I am much closer than I was a year ago at this time.  The changes in my body are amazing to me.  I’m wearing clothing sizes that I haven’t worn since high school or possibly even middle school – that is 20+ years ago!  It’s just an amazing feeling to see the metamorphosis of my body and to know that I’m still not entirely ready to leave my cocoon.  I am so very thankful to have been given the tool to make this happen; to create a healthier me for the future.

There are still demons I battle and in September they came to a head.  I had a sort of breakdown at the end of the month and ended up spending five days in a psychiatric ward.  It was a turning point for me and has helped me realize that my depression stems back further than I originally thought.  I attend a group therapy session weekly and have one-on-one counseling as often as possible.  None of this would be possible without the help of the Rappahannock-Rapidan Community Services Board.  They have approved me for low-cost assistance for my treatment and medications.  It is truly a blessing.  I’m feeling mentally and physically better than I have in a very long time.

During these past months I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will lose my house, whether I manage to sell it on my own or allow it to be foreclosed.  At first this was one of the things that sent me over the edge, but now I’m at peace with it.  The only saving grace would be for the condo in Florida to sell but I’m not counting my eggs before they hatch, and I may possibly need to live there for a bit.  So now I live each day to the fullest and allow myself to be open to the possibilities.

Another way I’m blessed is the part-time job I have at CVS.  On the books I’m a head cashier but when I was hired it was to be trained as a manager.  I have no estimate as to when I’ll make the manager designation but it would be nice if it were sooner than later.  I enjoy the work and those I work with.  I never thought I could enjoy retail but I really do.  It’s completely different from the cashier and retail jobs I had in high school and college.  I’m definitely interested to see where this will lead.

Last year I’d said I would blog on a regular basis and obviously that did not happen.  This year I will not make that same mistake.  I will blog when the feeling strikes, and hopefully it will be more often than once every six months.  LOL

May everyone have a happy and prosperous 2011!