Life

Sometimes life throws us a curveball.  I am certainly not where I expected to be at this point in my life.  Many moons ago when I was a mere young’un of 18 I made a promise to myself:  By the age of 28 I’d be happily married, in a stable career and have at least one child.  On my 28^th birthday I was divorced, working a job that I had no idea would lead to a career and had no children.  I was however, living in one of the busiest cities in the US.  Overall I was happy, although it was a stark punch of reality to know I hadn’t succeeded in attaining my goals.

Due to my early dating/relationship experiences I went many years without dating, or even attempting to date.  I knew that I had to get myself in a place where emotionally and mentally I could share myself with another.  It wasn’t until last year, after I turned 40 that I allowed my best friend to cajole me into attempting to date.  I joined an online dating service.  It was a rough start.  Lots of messages from men that were immediately deleted due to their content, and a couple of dates with a couple different guys.  I was feeling a bit underwhelmed and considered tossing in the towel.  Then another friend suggested a different site.  I signed up and gave it a try.  I met someone fairly quickly, and things went well for awhile.  Then he dropped the bomb on me that he really didn’t see us in a relationship.  It was heartbreaking, and it put me back in that position of questioning whether or not I should be dating.  So, I took a deep breath and tried again.

Just after the beginning of this year I started talking to another guy from the same site.  We went out on several dates, but agreed from the beginning it would be more of a “friends” situation since he wasn’t really ready to settle down.  (He was coming from a bad marriage.)  I figured I would keep looking to see if anyone caught my eye.  I wasn’t really serious about it, just curious.

Then I happened across a really quirky and funny profile.  I took a chance and sent a message.  I didn’t hear anything for several days and figured he’d decided we weren’t a good enough match.  But then I did hear from him, and we found that we do have a lot in common.  We’ve been on a number of dates, and have a good time when we’re together.  We have an amazing connection with one another.  It’s like we’ve known one another forever.

I did not expect any of this at this point in my life.  In just the past few weeks I have felt myself grow stronger as a person, and I feel as if I’ve blossomed further.  I seriously considered changing jobs within the insurance industry, but realized the grass isn’t always greener elsewhere.  I’ve been in the insurance biz for 13 years now.  That’s pretty impressive.  Plus, I have a boss who respects me and needs me to help him run his office.  I know my worth now, and I don’t question it.  I have no idea where the future will lead me, but I am confident that I can go forward with my head held high.