Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Who Am I?

No, the answer is not Jean Valjean.

This is very valid question, however.  One that I probably don't ask myself often enough.  This morning I'm asking because of a video that has been circulating online this week.  It was posted on YouTube by Dove on Monday and it shows how different women perceive themselves versus how others perceive them.  It is not entirely eye-opening to me as I know I view myself far more skewed than others do.  I am my worst critic and enemy.  I always have been.  However, realizing that I am not alone and that there are many other women who view themselves as harshly as I view myself, that is a bit eye-opening.

When I look at myself in the mirror most of the time I will see the flaws.  It is rare that I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.  I have moments where I see her, and others where I see a "pretty" fact looking back.  But generally I see imperfections that I would like to have fixed.  I am told by those who know me and care for me that I am beautiful.  I hear them, and I do try to believe them but it is difficult.  It is a constant battle.  I am starting to get to the point where I do believe it, and I am trying to embrace it so I can be that beautiful woman everyone sees.  The truth is I cannot be truly beautiful unless I believe it myself.

Over the past weeks I have been forced, yet again to realize how strong a person I am.  I have been told for years that I am strong, but again it isn't something I truly see in myself.  Despite a few moments of true despair and the need to be weak for a bit, I know I am strong.  I have been through a great deal in my life, and everything I have encountered has shaped me into the woman I am today.  I have no regrets and would not change any decision I have made at any point in my life.  To change anything would mean that I not only wouldn't be the woman I am, but that I may not have met some of the people who influence my life greatly.

Before I answer my own question, I would like to ask everyone who is reading one question:  Will you take 3 minutes of your day to watch the video?  Please do.  As for who I am?  I am a strong, beautiful woman.  Yes, I have flaws but they do not define me.  They help make me who I am.


dragonladych said...

Well I'll also comment here as I find it sad that no one comments on blogs any longer.

This was interesting, and I can see how it can make people emotional. It's a great idea to make them understand that people rarely see what we do.

I think it should also be said that too many take things for granted, and don't realise how the changes you've been through must have been very hard. Our society is so focused on appearance that if you "look better" you must automatically feel better... no matter, a big change like this is a trauma.

When I look at you, and of course I can only judge from photos, I see a person who has a lot to give. I see someone who is afraid to follow her path, and trust me I know that feeling. And mostly I see your strength, I didn't choose you as a model for the archetype of inner strength for nothing.

Sarah "Avara" Griffith said...

If I knew what my path is, perhaps I wouldn't be afraid to follow it. :) (Or do you think deep down inside I do know what my path is and just refuse to admit it? I am still so honored that you chose to immortalize me. I need to get that framed.

dragonladych said...

We all know our path from the day of our birth and we forget it as we grow up. I realise this more and more.
I've been doing a lot of reorganising in my flat and finding old stuff, journals, and drawings. And it was always totally clear that I had no other idea than be an illustrator whether it was for a living or not. It's a bit the subject of my latest blog.

I was really unhappy until the day I decided to stop whining about how I never had time and get on with it. I still whine about having no time, but at least now it's true and I enjoy every second of my life ;)